So you’ve been in Holland for a while. Think you’re “home”? Not unless you do these things:

• you have a bike. Or more!
• you understand German, English and French but the German and the English and the French don’t understand a word you speak
• you terrorize new tourists on bicycles and enjoy their torment
• you can multi-task: riding a bike while holding an umbrella in heavy rain while keeping your groceries dry as you hold your Phone to type on WhatsApp in perfect balance and expect everyone to get out of your way
• you don’t ask “Do you speak English” anymore. You just speak English. (I really love Holland!)
• you speak better English than most Americans
• you don’t care much for tips in restaurants anymore
• your Moleskine (or another agenda) is stuck to your hand and fully booked for the next two centuries
• you’d rather wear two sweaters than turn up the heater (I thank my friend J. for this insight, but I’m still turning up the heater…)
• you now complain that not all the countries in the world have bike lanes
• you think “Verantwoordelijkheidsgevoel” is easily pronounceable
• you know what “gezellig” means but you have no idea how to explain it to other foreigners
• you know what a “kroket” is and you avoid the really orange ones
• you still don’t speak Dutch but your English and other languages have improved immensely
• you now think that a 2 hour drive is a long one
• you aren’t surprised anymore that clubs close at 2 or 3 a.m. and you actually enjoy it more that way
• you use 9292.nl like it’s the sacred place of all things buses